Valentine's Day...FML

We are now a safe two days past one of the most dreaded holidays our country celebrates...Valentine's Day. This holiday simply gets worse as we age. If you ask me we had it right in elementary school - everyone gets tons of cards and candy. Which is why I bought Toy Story Valentine's Day cards with Reese's cups for all of my coworkers this year - most of whom are married and gave me strange looks but oh well the more the merrier and I was trying to prove a point.

The only thing I stressed over as a youngster about the holiday was giving a boy in my class a Valentine that would send the wrong message. In other words, I made sure my Valentine to him did not include the words "like" or definitely not "love". For instance, if I had to send him one from the Toy Story allotment I would choose the Sheriff Andy Valentine's Day card that reads "You have a date with Justice" because it's completely safe and asexual. In elementary school we simply got sugar comatose together and our parents had to put up with us for the remainder of their romantic holiday.

And then puberty hits and it's 7 minutes in heaven, candy grams, stiff arm slow dances and stuffed teddy bears. Valentine's Day in middle school was a competition to see which girl received the most candy grams. And the girl who received the most never ate them because if she did she would have never received the most to begin with - waste of good chocolate if you ask me. The one year I did have a middle school boyfriend his grandmother forgot to deliver the white roses on Valentine's Day so she brought me the brown ones instead the next day...surprise! It's the thought that counts :).

I know I sound like a bitter bitch but I can't remember ever loathing Valentine's Day in high school or any other time in my life. In high school it just presented awkwardness. The Valentine's Day dance was the one dance that everyone over-analyzed. For instance, if you asked a friend one of the two would ask oneself does he or she have feelings for me and just hasn't said anything? Which I don't blame anyone for thinking because this holiday is notorious for convincing people that they have feelings for someone when they actually don't. I'm just glad I played sports in high school because this week was always filled with candy, chocolate and birthday cake.

Yes, that's right, my birthday is the day before Valentine's Day. And I know all of you are thinking..."Ah ha so she really is bitter!" The only thing I've been bitter about is receiving heart-shaped shit for birthday presents and the awful weather that usually accompanies the month of February. The one year I insisted on having an indoor pool party, despite the depressing weather, we had an ice storm which caused a power shortage and we had to use flashlights to use the restroom. Flash forward to my college years at PC and it was like the holiday never existed except when I was dating someone and he couldn't understand why I wanted to get freshman drunk with all of my friends on my birthday at the frats instead of eating a cookie bouquet and watching romantic comedies in the dorms.

Valentine's Day only becomes a problem when you're an adult and single. When people get awkward asking you what your Valentine's Day plans are because they're expecting an answer along the lines of the movie "Bridget Jones" - drinking red wine, crying in my pajamas, smoking cigs and listening/singing to Celine Dion "All By Myself" (great scene by the way). And if you respond with something along the lines of "I hate Valentine's Day" you're either a) a feminist with hairy armpits or b) a bitter, insecure, lonely hermit.

The point is even if I was in a relationship with someone I loved I would spend the holiday cooking dinner, drinking wine, listening to music, together at home. But I wouldn't do this just one day out of the year. I would tell him I loved him each and every day and spend as much quality time with him as I possibly could. To me love is as much a habit as it is a feeling and definitely not a spectacle which is sadly what Valentine's Day has become. Love is something we all need to incorporate into our daily routine and not just one day every 365 days.

The problem is not with Valentine's Day but with how our society views the holiday - a self-absorbed, commercialized day dreaded by most. If this holiday is about love then I have plenty of reasons to celebrate. Love for my parents, love for my brothers, love for my friends, love for my cousins, love for my aunts and uncles and I could go and on (notice I didn't say love for my cats, I draw the line somewhere). That said, I challenge all of us to celebrate Valentine's Day by telling the people in our lives how much we love them on this special day along with every other day, despite the fact that there's just one card for brothers in the Valentine's Day section at Hallmark...